Everything and Nothing

It starts like it always starts

Smiles, laughter, gentle teasing

Teasing, poking, nudging

niggling until one tiny syllable

out of place starts a

chain reaction that is



a whirlwind of exasperated arms

Pushing the chair back

she hurricanes upstairs

and slam!



Three times to make sure we are

in no doubt it is our fault

our bad

our failing to understand or acknowledge

Wanting to STOMP upstairs but

the carpet only yields an impotent


Tapping at the door

wanting it to be the magic code

to get in


the door opens

and the resentment the blame the

despair the shame

comes tumbling out

You never

You don’t

I won’t

I hate

I can’t

I’m nothing

My heart opens

and the despair the shame the

frustration the pain floods the room

I always

I do

I will

I love

You can

You’re everything


Her words are cat’s claws catching

around my breast

my words are a vain attempt to

blunt them and salve the wound

Just as the scab hardens

her claws rip it away

revealing the squishy pink softness

opening it up to the grit

and dirt and truth of our life

A hand reaches out and

I take it

of course I do

and take the embrace

the one I never want to end

never want to let go

but I do

and she does


It’s never over

I don’t understand

I won’t give up

I love her

I can’t reach her

I’m nothing

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s